"I sleep, but my heart waketh: it is the voice of my beloved that knocketh, saying, 'Open to me, my sister, my love, my dove, my undefiled: for my head is filled with dew, and my locks with the drops of the night.' 'I have put off my coat; how shall I put it on? I have washed my feet; how shall I defile them?' My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him. I rose up to open to my beloved; and my hands dropped with myrrh, and my fingers with sweet smelling myrrh, upon the handles of the lock." Song of Songs 5:2-5
Our heart can be slow to awake. We can live behind a locked door inside our souls. The access we give to God maybe very limited because of past hurts even though we love Him we don't trust Him enough to give Him a key.
"I opened to my beloved; but my beloved had withdrawn himself, and was gone: my soul failed when he spake: I sought him, but I could not find him; I called him, but he gave me no answer. The watchmen that went about the city found me, they smote me, they wounded me; the keepers of the walls took away my veil from me." Song of Songs 5:6-7
We hesitate to respond and there is the pain of separation. We may wander the streets a long time and be hurt there. Christ won't be found in the streets... not in the bar room or in the casual glass of wine, not in the illicit relationship or in seemingly innocent flirting, not in the movie theater, not in the five star hotel... you can eat a thousand delicious meals and never find Him there... you can own a hundred albums and have your iPod full of soulful stirrings of every type and flavor.
The watchmen will eventually find you and treat you roughly. They don't care so much about your broken heart. They only care that there is a curfew and that you have transgressed the standard of what is proper in the eyes of men.
He can be found... but where?
"My beloved is gone down into his garden, to the beds of spices, to feed in the gardens, and to gather lilies. I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine: he feedeth among the lilies." Song of Songs 6:2-3
The Bible is His garden... Like Peter hearing Jesus say "Feed my Sheep." we find Him in our calling. Jesus is off gathering lilies. I think Jesus was not so much commanding Peter to do something (in John 21:16) that needed to be done... instead He was saying, "I will be gathering lilies. Feed my sheep because if you love me that is where you will always find me."