Sunday, July 19, 2015

Two Essential Ingredients For Male Happiness

Two essential ingredients for male happiness are 'arousal' and 'completion'. If these two elements are not present then a man doesn't feel like a man.

A young man's life is filled with arousal and as he get's older he gets tastes of completion and begins to desire to finish things more and more. An old man looks back and is aroused by what he finished or was a part of finishing and regrets what he left undone or unsaid.

A man who leaves to much unfinished will feel like a failure. A man who does things that have no finish line will also feel empty.

The garden of Eden was a true paradise for Adam. He had endless variety to arouse him and once each animal was named that name stuck and became fixed. It was a place Adam could be a man. All he needed was a mate to share it with and God gave him that also.

Sin, because it is faithless, is empty arousal. It gets old and demands variety. The problem that wholesome variety disconnected from God is limited and soon a man discovers that he can find variety in unwholesome ways and can justify his choices because of his driving need. Then comes guilt and shame or hardness.

Addictions can be healed when a man finds the right avenues to direct his arousal. Those old pathways get washed away. The God who created us knows just how to heal us also.

Continuous solitary arousal fulfillment produces social awkwardness because there is no one to share the growth with. That is as true for the older scholar with his head buried in books for most of his life as it is for the young man that finds his release in video games and activities that lack face to face interaction. Complex social interaction seems daunting because there is no instant pay off. A good balance of team accomplishment and personal accomplishment is vital for boys.

Adam needed Eve. Paradise was lonely without her. This new relationship brought new complexity also. I am not saying we all need to be married to be complete but having people to be with and connect with adds a dimension and flavor to life that is irreplaceable.

Jesus was fully a man. He was the second Adam. The first Adam failed but Christ never failed. His arousal was wholesome and righteous. Sin never killed His innocence because He never participated in faithless activities. He finished the things He started by faith. He finished the work of salvation. God also made sure that there were disciples there so that He had someone to walk with along the way.

Religion condemns a man for his arousal and puts him in program designed to please a God who can only be pleased by perfection. It is a cycle that a man can never hope to find completion in. Life becomes series of subtle compromises.

A relationship with God through Jesus Christ restores a man's ability to be a man. All failure is covered and forgotten. Sin becomes disconnected from a person's identity and new avenues are opened for arousal. Sexuality has it's right expression that has a real beginning and ending in a monogamous relationship where a man can love and cover one woman. A spiritual man can learn to wait and does not need instant gratification. He is not addicted to arousal... it has it's proper place.

A young man can participate in things that have passion and purpose and old men can look back on what God has done and they have been privileged to be a part of. The great commandment and the great commission provide endless variety for the young and marvelous stories for the old to talk about.

The most contented men you will ever meet are those who 'did what they loved' and 'finished what they started.' Many men straighten out their lives just by participating in projects that they can complete. It is a principle that works regardless of a person's theology. Man was designed to finish things. One day we will all stand before God and find out that faith was what God valued. In our weakness we are very strong if it brings us to a place of faith in Christ. His passions and accomplishments produce transformation. The man who participates by faith in what Christ has done will be content forever.


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