Season of Betrothal

We are betrothed to Christ. Not married... yet.

Engaged as a group and the marriage will be a 'us' thing also. Not individual... it is a concept presented in the Hebrew but we don't have it in our western culture.

Being engaged has it's own joys and troubles... life is happening but postponed... biblical engagement has no sexual intimacy... not before engagement or during... that is reserved for marriage.... that longing is healthy and once married a bond is formed both emotionally and physically.

The troubles of engagement are real... loneliness... the impending living arrangements may be anticipated but still the old 'life' dies and a new one is about to start filled with unknowns.

A believer lives a life of betrothal. We often say, 'One day things will be different.' and the they will be cause the marriage will happen and everything will be new again.

"And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful." - Revelation 21:5 KJV

"For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised. From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation;" - 2 Corinthians 5:14-18 ESV

Internal 'newness' is available to us now. External newness will come later. Hope is available to us now. Fullness of joy later.

"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." - Psalm 16:11 ESV

"But, as it is written, "What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him"-- these things God has revealed to us through the Spirit. For the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God." - 1 Corinthians 2:9-10 ESV

Life can often be like a woman longing for her prince charming to arrive... that isn't easy but it is a hardship filled with hope. Jesus is who we are longing for.... we have Him but we long for time when hope turns to daily living in joy unspeakable.

--

The Unequal Yoke

Wow. This next passage is an intense one. I see it as a plea from God for unity. He is acting like a husband who has found out that the mother of His children is having flirtatious interactions with another man and wants His family to remain whole out of love.

"We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians; our heart is wide open. You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted in your own affections. In return (I speak as to children) widen your hearts also. Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" - 2 Corinthians 6:11-14 ESV

I see broken marriages that had an 'unequal yoke'. One person was pulling in a certain direction at a certain pace and the other one had something different happening in their life. One might have been strong and the other weak. One might have been 'a believer' in Christ and the other one was not. Perhaps the pace was too slow and it never seemed like the marriage was going anywhere and that was disappointing. There was intense compromise beyond what was tolerable.

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." - Romans 8:1 ESV

I like what God communicates through the writer about a heart that is wide open. Grace is manifested that way. Grace gives room and can adjust the pace. Grace isn't restrictive. The writer isn't controlling in his communication.

It is a warning.

The Godless philosophy might look effective but it is going in a different direction. He might be handsome and affectionate and need you but eventually, the yoke will begin to chafe for you or for him. She might be soft and willing but will it last?

It is like God is pleading with people who have been hurt by His Church is some way and saying, 'I know they don't look like much. My Church may seem like a collection of broken toys and arrogant fools like my disciples were but I am bringing them along. Please come with me also. If you seek other lovers they are going to hurt you and it won't last. You will be hindered from realizing your potential.'

"Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty." - 2 Corinthians 6:17-18 ESV

Ouch. It isn't that the person is unclean but the union is. It isn't that the reasoning is unsound it is that we can't sprinkle God on a method and make it holy as if by magic.

Some connections are breakable and others are not but I want to connect myself to grace in every way possible. The message. The imperfect people. The vehicles God is using like the Church, para-Church ministries and evangelism are places where we can connect to God and be yoked to things and people that fit our shoulders and move in God's direction and at His pace.

This may add extra strain to badly yoked relationships but it also may cause there to be a conversion. It is a risk but it is a risk worth taking.

--

Strange Mixtures

God doesn't approve of certain mixtures. The last part of this passage is often used by angry atheists or other folks who want to disprove or invalidate the scriptures one way or another but I find it to be very edifying in context. That is why I have included the verses directly before the often quoted passage.

"You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him. You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD. You shall keep my statutes. You shall not let your cattle breed with a different kind. You shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed, nor shall you wear a garment of cloth made of two kinds of material." - Leviticus 19:17-19 ESV

God doesn't want us to mix love and hate. He gave Israel, not us, statutes so that they would be a visual witness. The nations and cultures who passed through Israel to get to the Orient or to Europe would say, 'These people are different. They eat differently. They dress differently. They are funny people. What makes them different?'

If you have a garment made of more than one material don't sweat it. This 'statute' isn't for you. Chuqqah (Strong's H2708), the word translated statute, means custom or way of life. It was never meant to be global. It is an illustration of God's distaste for mixtures given to a nation that was to represent His mind to the world.

The world is very fond of making hybrids these days. Foods get mixed. DNA gets tossed together like a salad in laboratories. We as believers are not called to be an example of that. We are called to purity. Wear what you want. Join in marriage to the person you want to marry no matter what their ethnicity is. A joining of a man and a woman is a blessed event. God isn't asking us to have an outward conformity. His mind is pure and He loves to see us with an undivided heart and mind. He wants love that never seeks revenge. He wants pure relationships and we can only have those if we look at how He Is and what His Son has done on the cross so transformation and renewal can take place.

--

Three Cords

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him - a threefold cord is not quickly broken." - Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 ESV

Oh, This is good.

Who are the first two people and who is the third person? There are a few answers. We could apply this to teamwork. We could also say that a family with children has this dynamic also.

I like to think that the first two cords represent communion (one person partaking of God's life) and the third person added to that dynamic provides fellowship (spiritual interaction based on God being between people in a relationship).

I have heard it taught as a comparison between natural marriage and spiritual marriage. That interpretation holds up but it never sat well with me that God would be third in any list. He Is never third in any list. He Is worthy to be first. It makes sense that He Is first not us. He was before the beginning and will be after the ending.

God. Us. Then other people who know and recognize the first cord. There is power there.

Or even better. God. Others. Us as a third cord to add strength through edification.

"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus," - Philippians 2:3-5 ESV

Wait! What? That's radical. Yes... and powerful.

I want to be the third cord this week. A person who strengthens those who know God. Then for those who go it alone I want to introduce the first cord into their lives and be there to add strength to that relationship.

God help us this week. You being intertwined in our life by grace has made all the difference. You warm our hearts. Thank You God.

--

The Other Woman - Part 5

I'm reading Genesis 38 over and over again this morning and I see so much of modern culture in the account of Tamar. While Joseph is off in Egypt Judah is living the life of a rascal. He is married but has a girlfriend in a village. He has children with this woman and all kinds of intrigue follows.

Tamar marries one of Judah's sons but that man dies and the culture of sleeping around continues. The scriptures are quite graphic in their description of deception and sexuality.

The account makes me think of this passage...

"It was also said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery." - Matthew 5:31-32 ESV

Not a passage often preached on by 'grace preachers'. It seems to forbid remarriage. It doesn't. It uncovers the reality of what broken relationships can do.

If you read Genesis 38, and I suggest you do, you will see that Tamar has needs and the double standard in her culture puts her in a difficult situation. She used her sexuality to get what she needs and what everyone knew she deserved in that culture. Was it right? No. But Judah set an unjust standard and everyone became a victim of his compromise.

The women in our culture need men to be men. It is easy to condemn a person for their loose ways but what made them that way? Nor should a husband who is married to someone who was married before condemning his wife for bringing what 'was' into what 'is'.

"Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered." - 1 Peter 3:7 ESV

She has battle scars. Respect her. Love her. The hard hard world hurt her and she had to adapt. Be a covering and a friend. She is on loan from a God who cherishes her.

Jesus paid for all sexual sin on the cross. He died for the victims and for the people who caused a wild west culture.

As men let's look at Judah and Joseph and make wise choices. Who will we be?

"He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself. He will get wounds and dishonor, and his disgrace will not be wiped away." - Proverbs 6:32f ESV

Amen.

--

The Other Woman - Part 4

Some men will shower women with affection but in and of itself that behavior isn't spiritual. The fall has made men into people who 'satisfy' and 'deprive'.

"I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord." - 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 ESV

Satisfying others, including a spouse or lover, is just an advanced form of self-satisfaction.

Mankind is made to glorify God. Men and woman do this in overlapping ways.

A woman needs the subjective experience of being, 'holy in body and spirit' in order to feel complete. A man can never do that for her. He can contribute to an environment where that can happen. He can be a covering and a catalyst but he can't satisfy her in that deepest need of her soul.

"Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." - Genesis 2:18 ESV

Likewise, one woman can help one man to be the man he was meant to be.

"Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct." - 1 Peter 3:1-2 ESV

This subjection is not subservience. It is a present and loving participation in the union. The fall has created in women a need for continuous validation. A believing woman knows she is holy because of the finished work of Jesus Christ. She Is seated together with Christ in Heavenly places no matter what her circumstances may suggest. Other people can reinforce that and provide a hedge for that to be learned and experienced.

A Godly husband points his wife to the holiness she has in Christ and a Godly wife says, in word and deed, that she is with her husband as he pursues his sometimes elusive calling.

"And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him - a threefold cord is not quickly broken." - Ecclesiastes 4:12 ESV

The 'other woman' is attracted to the stability of a man who seems to be pleasing someone else. She doesn't know that by defiling herself she only moves farther away from true satisfaction. Holiness is the only thing that can give her true 'wholeness.'

The man sees another way to satisfy himself by satisfying or depriving another human being but he also destroys his own soul in the process because it is a soul attachment that creates a present and future distraction (because of guilt) from realizing and experiencing his identity in God's calling.

Marriage, the only sanctioned sexual relationship, is a good place to glorify God but it is not the only place. If God gives us this, the closest of unions, so be it. It will never provide the ultimate satisfaction. God Himself Is that wholeness. Jesus came to give that to us and it is ours if we have Him and dwell in the covering thinking with Him provides.

--

The Other Woman - Part 3

"Now Laban had two daughters. The name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. Leah's eyes were weak, but Rachel was beautiful in form and appearance. Jacob loved Rachel. And he said, 'I will serve you seven years for your younger daughter Rachel.' ... When the LORD saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren." - Genesis 29:16-18, 31 ESV

At times I have wondered that western civilization has moved in the direction of monogamy. So much of the Bible, and history, shows men with more than one wife but in God's economy, there is no 'other woman' each woman is the apple of His eye. She stands and sits alone in that she is irreplaceable and precious.

Rachel and Leah were each a wife and the 'other woman' at the same time. Rachel had her husband's love and desire but Leah gave him children and the need she met produced tangible results.

The other woman may be a sexual predator or she may be a very kind person who believes that the man she is with will change or make a change to eventually put her first. The man may dangle that status in front of her eyes. The third scenario is that she just doesn't know she is the 'other', even though she may suspect it, and then at the point of discovery decisions need to be made. Perhaps she is slow to make them because of the emotional consequences of separation.

As I read these accounts I marvel at God's grace and mercy. You could say, 'Why did He even allow situations like these?' but clearly He lets us be who we are and these biographical accounts instruct us don't they? Who among us hasn't not felt second class for one reason or another? Perhaps we console ourselves that at least we contribute something even if we are not 'the special one'. Then in other areas we are in Rachel's place loved but useless. Our production is off and our self-worth is wrapped up in our 'doing'.

"I call upon you, for you will answer me, O God; incline your ear to me; hear my words. Wondrously show your steadfast love, O Savior of those who seek refuge from their adversaries at your right hand. Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings," - Psalm 17:6-8 ESV

Let me say it again. God has no 'other' in relation to you. You are the apple of His eye. You are what He looks at. If you get close enough to Him you will see your reflection in His eye as He looks lovingly at you.

Knowing God spoils us for manipulating scenarios. We are no longer victims nor do we feel the need to victimize. Grace and love fill a void and we can make hard choices to swim against the current. When you are special you can do that.

--

The Other Woman - Part 2

It is always valuable to look at the 'first mention' of any subject in the scriptures. Most, but not all, subjects are introduced in Genesis and then wrapped up in the book of Revelations.

The first 'other woman' scenario we see in the Bible is in Genesis chapter 16 with Abraham, Sarah and Hagar.

"Now Sarai, Abram's wife, had borne him no children. She had a female Egyptian servant whose name was Hagar. And Sarai said to Abram, 'Behold now, the LORD has prevented me from bearing children. Go in to my servant; it may be that I shall obtain children by her.' And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai. So, after Abram had lived ten years in the land of Canaan, Sarai, Abram's wife, took Hagar the Egyptian, her servant, and gave her to Abram her husband as a wife. And he went in to Hagar, and she conceived. And when she saw that she had conceived, she looked with contempt on her mistress. And Sarai said to Abram, 'May the wrong done to me be on you! I gave my servant to your embrace, and when she saw that she had conceived, she looked on me with contempt. May the LORD judge between you and me!' But Abram said to Sarai, 'Behold, your servant is in your power; do to her as you please.' Then Sarai dealt harshly with her, and she fled from her. The angel of the LORD found her by a spring of water in the wilderness, the spring on the way to Shur. And he said, 'Hagar, servant of Sarai, where have you come from and where are you going?' She said, 'I am fleeing from my mistress Sarai.' The angel of the LORD said to her, 'Return to your mistress and submit to her.' The angel of the LORD also said to her, 'I will surely multiply your offspring so that they cannot be numbered for multitude.' And the angel of the LORD said to her, 'Behold, you are pregnant and shall bear a son. You shall call his name Ishmael, because the LORD has listened to your affliction. He shall be a wild donkey of a man, his hand against everyone and everyone's hand against him, and he shall dwell over against all his kinsmen.' So she called the name of the LORD who spoke to her, 'You are a God of seeing,' for she said, 'Truly here I have seen him who looks after me.' " - Genesis 16:1-13 ESV

Wow, There is so much here isn't there? Human nature is on display. God's love and mercy is also. Men and women make bad decisions out of need but God is merciful to us.

The last mention is darker. Society itself has become adulterous.

"Then one of the seven angels who had the seven bowls came and said to me, 'Come, I will show you the judgment of the great prostitute who is seated on many waters, with whom the kings of the earth have committed sexual immorality, and with the wine of whose sexual immorality the dwellers on earth have become drunk.' And he carried me away in the Spirit into a wilderness, and I saw a woman sitting on a scarlet beast that was full of blasphemous names, and it had seven heads and ten horns. The woman was arrayed in purple and scarlet, and adorned with gold and jewels and pearls, holding in her hand a golden cup full of abominations and the impurities of her sexual immorality. And on her forehead was written a name of mystery: 'Babylon the great, mother of prostitutes and of earth's abominations.' And I saw the woman, drunk with the blood of the saints, the blood of the martyrs of Jesus. When I saw her, I marveled greatly. But the angel said to me, 'Why do you marvel? I will tell you the mystery of the woman, and of the beast with seven heads and ten horns that carries her... And the angel said to me, 'The waters that you saw, where the prostitute is seated, are peoples and multitudes and nations and languages. And the ten horns that you saw, they and the beast will hate the prostitute. They will make her desolate and naked, and devour her flesh and burn her up with fire, for God has put it into their hearts to carry out his purpose by being of one mind and handing over their royal power to the beast, until the words of God are fulfilled. And the woman that you saw is the great city that has dominion over the kings of the earth.'' - Revelation 17:1-7, 15-18 ESV

This 'other woman' concept shows the systemic failure of the natural person to cope with their needs apart from God. Problems compound into even more complex problems with a victim until the system consumes itself in the end.

But there is hope. God is merciful and has a merciful provision for the individual. The system... not so much.

Hagar found out she was not God's 'other woman.' He had a loving provision for her.

--

Uninterrupted Renewal

This morning I was thinking of the little things that steal our joy when it is supposed to be a time of joy.

"HER BROTHERS
Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards, for our vineyards are in blossom.

THE SHULAMITE WOMAN
My beloved is mine, and I am his; he grazes among the lilies." - Song of Songs 2:15-16 ESV

The Song of Solomon is an amazing unique book. It is all about the marital union But it is also about our relationship with God.

Here is a very broad progression of the book
1:1 - 3:5 Falling in Love
3:6 - 5:1 The Wedding and Marriage
5:2 - 7:10 The Struggles of Love
7:11f Growing in Love

This love has cycles. We love but then our love is renewed again and again as it deepens. The brothers represent the spectators to the intimacy process but they also speak of our 'detached self'...  the part of us that views and critiques the situation with detachment.

The details of life (the little foxes) can interrupt our love affair with God if we get distracted by them. The brothers are saying, 'Hey, I know you have a boyfriend but we have vines to worry about here. Get your head out of the clouds. We have issues to deal with now in this season of life.'

The Shulamite is focused on the character of her lover and is occupied with possessing him and the fact that he wants to possess her.

This season can be a season filled with 'little foxes that spoil the vines' but it is meant to be a season of renewed love.

If our focus is right then doubts and details don't have to ruin our love affair with God. Jesus was born in a manger 2,000 years ago. He came and died on a cross because He wanted to possess us and woo us in a permanent union.

Let's draw near to where God Is. He is with His flock among the lilies. He is walking with His disciples near the sea of Galilee teaching and laughing and healing people where ever He goes.

God, Some of us need a time of renewal. We need a time of love and the renewal of love. Give us eyes to see in the midst of the details of life. We worship You. Thank You. We are so blessed that you want us. Teach us to put our inner critic in its place as we command our souls to rejoice in the Lord.

--

Let Me Not Wander From Your Mitzvahs

I'm asking God to fill me with His Spirit as I read His Bible.

"With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you." Psalm 119:10-11 ESV

The word translated commandments in the Hebrew word mitzvah (Strong's H4687) and these are not legalistic actions. A mitzvah is a blessed kind action filled with mercy and love.

When we love people we store up knowledge about them so that we can be a blessed to them and not a curse. Our well-meaning actions can be a 'sin against them' in they are done without knowledge.

Other than 'imputing sin' to one another the next best way to kill a relationship is to function without knowledge towards that person.

"And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these."" Mark 12:30-31 ESV

It is very easy for us to wander away from a mitzvah-filled life.

Let's seek God's mind and ponder His words. Let's be filled with the Spirit that is compatible with the new nature we received at our new birth and live a life of understanding love. The Holy Spirit will kindly show us if we have eyes to see it. It doesn't require a high IQ to do this. It requires a laid down life of attention and imparted understanding.

--

Staying And Going

I will get back to Colossians in due season but the subject that has been on my mind lately is 'Staying and Going. Returning and Abandoning.'

It is an interesting subject and our lives are deeply affected by how we make these decisions.

"To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches." - 1 Corinthians 7:12-17 ESV

This is passage rarely preached on Sunday mornings but how many people would profit from hearing it. Paul saw marriages. He Pastored and counseled. He saw couples who remained together but fought like cats and dogs and ones who thought it better to part ways.

We are called to peace and a redemptive mindset.

Different branches of Christianity take such different views of marriage and commitment in general. Some preach 'stay' or be stigmatized forever. Others say, 'It is none of our business. We are here and marriage is over there.' There is such a range of thought.

I have read this passage many times and I'm sure I will read it many more. I'll sit with two people who are in a battle to 'try and make it work' and we will read it together. I want marriages to make it. I believe with all my heart that God does also.

This morning I see the power of one person who believes. One person full of faith can sanctify a home. I see freedom not bondage. I percieve the desire to see the people closest to us saved from a life of self-destruction. I see a very careful leader who hesitates to say, 'Thus sayeth the Lord.' regarding this matter.

I think we all struggle with 'should I stay or should I go' matters. perhaps it isn't marriage. It might be a job or a location. It might be a vocation or Church involvement. Maybe it isn't going that is the issue. Perhaps it is returning.

We are called to peace and a redemptive mindset. God has a calling. We as individuals must discern God's voice. All of us are prone to self deception but what is the Bible saying? is there a witness from the believers we fellowship with? What is the pulpit preaching? What is the witness in our prayer life? God has ways to communicate if we are listening and asking.

"For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace." - Romans 6:14 ESV

This morning I take my eyes off of myself and pray for the ones around me that are together and others that are apart. Their lives are a witness to me. Some are great testimonies and others serve as warning signs that say, 'Go this way at your own peril'. and I pray for them as I look for God's mind and direction.

--

Hermaphrodites

"And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, 'This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.' " - Genesis 2:22-23 ESV

Men have an XY genetic arrangement and women have a XX arrangement. Interesting considering the Genesis account has God removing part of Adam and forming Eve. What is not often discussed is that today our genetic code has degraded to the point where as many as 1.7% (17 out of 1,000) people are born intersex or hermaphrodites. That means they have qualities of both sexes but are usually (but not always) a XX genetic arrangement. In the past doctors at times decided to 'make' these children girls by a surgical procedure... sometimes without even telling the parents the situation. Just imagine the confusion of growing up thinking you are one thing when your biology is sending contradictory signals.

It is no wonder that people identify themselves in crazy ways. Genetics and environmental influences have muddied the water so much that the lines are blurred and societies are being forced into making strange decisions. It only going to get worse by the way. 1.7% is today's statistic. That number will only grow as population grows in an ever more poisoned and radiated world.

We aren't going back to the garden. That way is barred forever from fallen men.

So while I agree that darkness and deception are factors they are not the only factors. People are confused and I want to love people and show them the identity that they can have in Jesus. If that means building another bathroom or limiting bathrooms so that they have one occupant at a time then so be it. It is a small price to pay.

"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." - Galatians 3:28 ESV

The identity we have in Christ is not primarily a sexual one. Everyone has a special place. The Bible teaches biblical marriage to be between a one man an one woman and sexual contact is reserved for marriage alone. It is a clear teaching and so it must be our conviction. Love is so much more than sex. We must protect our children from perversion with the clear understanding that our world is changing and they will be exposed to concepts eventually. Will we be kind, loving and firm or backward and intolerant?

In Christ we have liberty and a royal identity. Let's be loving and welcoming to people. Let's teach the Bible as it is written and let God untangle the complexities of each life. He is able. We can't but He can and does if His Son is lifted up in our midst.

--

Ephesians Chapter Four Into Chapter Five

"Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." - Ephesians 4:28-32 ESV

"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not become partners with them; for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, 'Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.' Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ." - Ephesians 5:1-21 ESV

I wrote a blog post based on these passages but I 'pasted' when I should have 'copied' and lost it before I could post it.

Ha.

Well. Here are the passages. I pray God blesses you as you read them. They are amazing!

--

Spiritual Autonomy And Sexuality

Spiritual autonomy is a wonderful thing. It is the ability and right to govern ourselves. When the writers of the American Declaration of Independence spoke about 'inalienable rights' that is one of the things they were referring to.

A liar loses their spiritual autonomy. Why? They have taken the right God gave them to be autonomous and surrendered it. They have usurped authority and somewhere in the back of their mind they feel that the one who granted them freedom is chasing them. Autonomy is lost.

"Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow." - Psalm 51:6-7 ESV

It is no coincidence that the age of accountability is closely linked to the age of sexual awakening. This is often the time in a person's life when they begin to hide or display themselves to others in exaggerated and deceptive ways.

"and said, 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?" - Matthew 19:5 ESV

I am so happy when I hear of a young couple who is getting married. I know that this is the beginning of a great adventure. They both finally have an avenue to deal with their sexuality (among many other things of course) with someone else. Those who were hiding won't need to hide anymore. They now have someone who they can share their life with for better or for worse.

Marriage isn't necessary for spiritual autonomy. People can have truth that gives them the ability to operate in the light in every situation and instance. Everyone can live in transparency towards God. God does however use marriage in an amazing way in people's lives.

We were born to be ourselves but when needs go unmet people create masks. No one wearing a mask can truly say they are free.

Biblical sexuality is private in nature. The doctrine isn't but the rest of it is. Many cultures have made it a public issue but exposure isn't the answer. Exposure can not exorcise shame or guilt.

Autonomy and interdependence go hand in hand. People need people. There is no economy without commerce. God's transactions are grace transactions. Autonomy just means that a person, group or nation is free to govern themselves without oppression.

This is a sensitive subject but if your sexuality is keeping you in bondage then going to God is the answer. He made us as sexual creatures. He has a way for us to live in the light for every area of our life. Even this one.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God." - John 3:16-18 ESV

Yes. Those without Christ are condemned already. Somewhere in the back of their mind they know they have transgressed holiness and there is no remedy. Some work for appeasement. Others just run and hide for as long as they can. Others recreate God in their own image to create a false sense of security.

No one can run forever and God has only ever been satisfied with one person. Jesus is the answer. Jesus was the only answer for the woman caught in the act of adultery and He Is the only answer for us.

"...And Jesus said, 'Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.' " - John 8:11b ESV

Let Him say that to you. We all need to hear it. It is what gives us the ability to operate in our inalienable right of spiritual autonomy.

--

It Is A Good Thing That The Time Is Short

How much time do we have? Not much...

"This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short..." - 1 Corinthians 7:29 ESV

What does this mean? Is it talking about end times prophecy or about attitude? I believe that it speaks about both. Just a few verses later it says this.

"I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband." - 1 Corinthians 7:32-34 ESV

This statement is in the context of getting married but the two ideas are linked. If we know the time is short we will be free from anxieties. You might think it is the opposite but we worry because we wonder if we will regret later what we are doing now. That is the root of anxiety. We don't want to get stuck for a long time with something.

So...

How much time do we have this Christmas? Not much...

The Gospel says salvation is 'of the Lord' and Jesus has already come once to accomplish it. It is finished. In just a little time He is coming back.

We can live in grace and liberty knowing we don't have much time. We can marry or not marry (see 1 Corinthians 7:36 and the verses following). We are free in Christ from the bondage of pleasing people. In hindsight we will marvel that we lived in anxiety about things that passed in the blink of an eye.

When there is not much time each moment is precious. When there is not much time we are more likely to act on what is important. We tell people we love them when we know there isn't much time.

This Christmas may not be all we hoped for or it may be everything we ever wanted... either way it might be our last on Earth. Let's make every moment count because the time is short.

"The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, And he who wins souls is wise." - Proverbs 11:30 NKJV

Yes. We need to know the time is short in order to focus our strength in wise ways.

--

Being A Better Man

I don't know about you but I want to be a better human being. I don't say that in an insecure way. There is a perfection that comes with being a believer and it is a present tense perfection. Believing God is the best activity that anyone can be involved in and God has perfected the believer because He sees time backwards as well as forwards and makes blanket declarations based on His infinite knowledge.

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" - Romans 8:28-31 ESV

Who can be against us includes 'ourselves.' There is no striving for perfection. Loving God is perfection. I'm talking about growth.

For me growth as a man involves headship.

"And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love." - Ephesians 4:11-16 ESV

"For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior." - Ephesians 5:23 ESV

Boys learn to be men by watched men function as men then that manhood is put into practice by how he treats the women in his life. Jesus is the ultimate example of true headship.

"Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. But that is not the way you learned Christ! - assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another." - Ephesians 4:17-25 ESV

Unbelief has a hardness to it. The nations (Gentiles) function in a kind of national unbelief. That is the zeitgeist of our age and it has been since nations formed on the Earth. God has not given man a national redemption yet. He will. The lamb will return as a lion and we will see that. We see shadows of that in Solomon but Solomon failed like every man before him. Jesus will not fail.

God is not surprised that nations don't believe. He points to them and uses them as a visual aid for us to see in our generation. We humble ourselves because we don't want to think like a government that can commit atrocities... like the ones we see around us.

As a man I don't want to be a little dictator in my home. Nor do I want to be a passive pleasure seeker. If I choose to function in spirituality then I choose to function in servant headship and that headship initiates without micro-management. That is a leadership that lays down it's life. Jesus is giving grace and making intercession right now as he sits on a throne in Heaven. He Is resting in His love toward us. He providing headship from that location.

I ask almost every day for God to make me a better husband and because I am married it is linked to my spiritual manhood. Asking for that is indirectly asking God to make me a better man.

This is not a popular message in this day and age.

We are being counseled to take gender our of the equation. The very definitions of male and female are currently being challenged but gender was not given to make one gender better than another. Gender was given to complete us as we experience unity. It was given for growth.

We are also counseled to drop titles and drop spiritual submission. Leaders are treated like servants when they should be seen as mentors. It is smart tactic really because if you neuter leadership you water down the manhood of the generation that follows.

I'll be a 'better' human being today if I function in real submission and then initiate from that vantage point. It won't perfect me. I have already been perfected. Functioning in grace will give me a life of spiritual multiplication and that is the growth I am seeking.

"Listen! Behold, a sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seed fell along the path, and the birds came and devoured it. Other seed fell on rocky ground, where it did not have much soil, and immediately it sprang up, since it had no depth of soil. And when the sun rose, it was scorched, and since it had no root, it withered away. Other seed fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked it, and it yielded no grain. And other seeds fell into good soil and produced grain, growing up and increasing and yielding thirtyfold and sixtyfold and a hundredfold." And he said, 'He who has ears to hear, let him hear.' " - Mark 4:3-9 ESV

God give us ears to hear this weekend. Sow your seed in our hearts and make us faithful sowers of seed also.

--

Transformation Or Domestication

Yesterday on outreach we were talking about the term domestication.

"Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches... Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called." - 1 Corinthians 7:17, 20 ESV

"This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away." - 1 Corinthians 7:29-31 ESV

The world has cycles. It reinvents itself in cycles. But a believer is called in a certain condition. Faith in Christ is that condition. If we compromise in the cycles we start to deviate and become conformed to the world.

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." - Romans 12:2 ESV

"I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord." - 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 ESV

In marriage we see a great example of what can happen. Men and women can either be transformed or conformed.

A wife needs a husband with a single eye. She need a man who will lay down his life for her. A man in the world but not of the world.

A man is convicted by the 'good conversation' of his Godly wife. He sees Christ in her. He sees a devotion to God as the one who has won her by grace. She is someone who can not be easily manipulated. She is someone with inner strength who he is privileged to cover and he sees how she suffers at times because of his lack of covering. She makes him want to rise to the occasion. That is what she does for everyone through her life of love.

Marriage outside of God can be domesticating but by design it is anything but that. It is the picture of a relationship where individuals become more than they could be alone. There is a synergy that reveals God as the third cord woven into the mix that provides a strength beyond what the two could ever have alone.

We resist domestication by functioning in transformation. The cycles of the world do not have to toss us around if we remain grounded in the word with eyes fixed on Christ and His unchanging priority systems. Relationship can assist us in growing strong and tall as trees planted by the rivers of water. We don't have to lean to a different light source. We can soak in the sun and live fruitful lives.

--

The Third Cord

Thinking and praying... praying for marriages to make it... young couples and long standing marriages. Praying for mothers with young children. Praying for men who need to provide for families... that those men would have tender hearts and not be hardened by frustration or despair. I'm Lifting up small churches (small in size that is).

Isolation is not a good thing.

"And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone" - Genesis 2:18a KJV

I look at these early verses written by Moses and it is easy to look at the content of what is being said but God is talking. Who is He talking to? In a way it is a picture of the Trinity. God is speaking in a committee meeting of sorts and saying, 'Man is triune like We are (body, soul and spirit) but he needs an expression of that in an external way also.'

Not only do we need to know we are not alone. We need reciprocating sounding boards that have God's mind. The trinity is one.

"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one." - Deuteronomy 6:4 ESV

Ideas can isolate us. Right and wrong can. Distance can. Trouble can. We can be in a room full of people and still be alone. It is not good.

We are all individual triune beings on the inside and that is right. Our identity is not lost in the group if it is strong and healthy. We can go it alone if we must but that is not the ideal. That is not our final design.

"And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him - a threefold cord is not quickly broken." - Ecclesiastes 4 ESV

Our friendships need a third cord. Our marriages need one. God is that third cord. Fellowship is when God is in the midst.

So, I'm praying for people this morning. Some are people I haven't thought of in a long time. I'm not even sure if some of them are alive but still... I'm praying that there would be love that flows between people in potentially isolating situations. That love is so needed.

--

And No One Was Able To Open The Scroll

Last week I was speaking to a friend about the need for crisis in the growth process. In order for a man to change he must experience a crisis. The soil must be turned over for seed to be buried and roots to properly form.

Here in Revelation chapter 5 we see a fundamental crisis of cosmic proportions.

"Then I saw in the right hand of him who was seated on the throne a scroll written within and on the back, sealed with seven seals. And I saw a mighty angel proclaiming with a loud voice, 'Who is worthy to open the scroll and break its seals?' And no one in heaven or on earth or under the earth was able to open the scroll or to look into it, and I began to weep loudly because no one was found worthy to open the scroll or to look into it." - Revelation 5:1-4 ESV

The Apostle John is older now and he is in prison on Patmos. He sees Jesus and in chapter 4 he is whisked away into Heaven to a place outside of time. Now he finds himself weeping. Does he even know why? I imagine only partially. No one else there is weeping.

If you find yourself in Heaven and there is a problem no one else can solve that is truly something to cry about. Why do we cry on Earth? Unsolvable dilemmas do it to us. Sadness is our emotional response to unattainable victory. Death makes us cry. loss makes us cry. Even victory makes us cry at times because the impossible has happened and we somehow know it is a fleeting moment that we can't hold unto so the tears come.

Children cry at the divorce of their parents. It is an unsolvable dilemma for their little lives. When the people who should love you forever say that they can't love each anymore it is like being in Heaven and hearing that no one is worthy.

"And one of the elders said to me, 'Weep no more; behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has conquered, so that he can open the scroll and its seven seals.' And between the throne and the four living creatures and among the elders I saw a Lamb standing, as though it had been slain, with seven horns and with seven eyes, which are the seven spirits of God sent out into all the earth. And he went and took the scroll from the right hand of him who was seated on the throne. And when he had taken the scroll, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb, each holding a harp, and golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints. And they sang a new song, saying,

'Worthy are you to take the scroll and to open its seals, for you were slain, and by your blood you ransomed people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation, and you have made them a kingdom and priests to our God, and they shall reign on the earth.' " - Revelation 5:5-10 ESV

Who solves the crisis? Jesus does. Who mends our broken heart? Jesus does. He is the answer. He answers the crisis in Heaven and He answers the crisis on Earth inside our heart.

"Then I looked, and I heard around the throne and the living creatures and the elders the voice of many angels, numbering myriads of myriads and thousands of thousands, saying with a loud voice, 'Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing!' And I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea, and all that is in them, saying, 'To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!' And the four living creatures said, 'Amen!' and the elders fell down and worshiped." - Revelation 5:11-14 ESV

John was plucked out of time but everyone else there knew. This is our future. We read about an event that hasn't happened yet. This is us singing. If you know Jesus you will be there to see this and sing this song. We are even given the words ahead of time so we can rehearse.

Like John we cry at times for the dilemmas we face and see other people face but as believers there is a solution that drys our tears. His name is Jesus.

Every hospital room in the world would be a better place if His name was mentioned. Every graveside a lighter sorrow if He was involved in that life that now only in our memory.

People are out there crying and they have every reason to cry. Let's go put our hand on their shoulder and say, 'Weep no more; behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has conquered.' If they receive this truth then there will be a day when all of their tears will be wiped away.

The cross is at the heart of every spiritual transformation. Boys become men when they embrace the great commission. It is the present day crisis that produces spiritual maturity in those that will stand up and answer the call.

--

The Cords That Bind Us

I woke up with this passage on my heart and let me start by saying that there is no condemnation for what is past. I say this  first because it is a subject that many hold secret guilt about... secret uneasiness... if God be for you, and He is, who can be against you.

Here is the passage...

"And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, 'Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?'

He answered, 'Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.'

They said to him, 'Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?'

He said to them, 'Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.' The disciples said to him, 'If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.'

But he said to them, 'Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.' " - Matthew 19:2-12 ESV

So, In a few short sentences Jesus strips away the sentimental mask of religion and gets to the heart of the marital relationship. I like the King James version for this verse.

"Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." - Matthew 19:6 KJV

We see the picture of something wrapping layer upon layer to bind it together so that no one cord cut could sever it so that two things become one. When those ties that bind are severed it causes the once bound parties to enter into licence that is not liberty. Manuscripts vary on what verse nine says. Some say that divorce cases the woman to enter into adultery but in the ancient world only a man could initiate a divorce so it would have to be a man who initiated the divorce and the woman would then be put in a difficult situation having to make difficult choices for the sake of survival.

This is God's mind on marriage but for those who have had a marriage, or more than one, torn asunder there can be a contradiction in the heart. Receive God's love. Receive God's healing. Receive God's grace. Don't unwrap what has been wrapped together or cut the cords that hold a relationship and don't be condemned if those cord have been cut in the past. Sin is paid for, all sin, now we are free to be alive and not live as victims or as perpetrators or past mistakes.

"Let the one who is able to receive this receive it." - Matthew 19:12b ESV

Grace gives us ears to hear and changes our orientations and motivation. In this moment we are free. Free to reconcile or free to move one as God leads us. Yes, As God leads us. No preference... leading. But leading that has liberty and is free from condemnation.

God is the binder of wounds and the mender of hearts. Today is a new day. Our faith is placed in Him alone. He is the one who moves us and connects us together.

"Giving thanks unto the Father, which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light: Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son: In whom we have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins:" - Colossians 1:12-14 KJV

He cut us free from a power and ushered us into a kingdom . A kingdom filled with holy relationships that have God between people. He is bound up in the cord of marriage and every other relationship that is close and holy in nature but marriage is a special manifestation on Earth of Christ's relationship to the Church.

"And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken." - Ecclesiastes 4:12 KJV

If one person knows God then God is there in the relationship. If two know Him He is wrapped up in the midst strengthening the bond. Don't cut the cords or encourage others to do it. Let God wrap the love that connects around us. It is not there to hinder us. It is there to hold us and embrace us.

--