I woke up with this passage on my heart and let me start by saying that there is no condemnation for what is past. I say this first because it is a subject that many hold secret guilt about... secret uneasiness... if God be for you, and He is, who can be against you.
Here is the passage...
"And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, 'Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?'
He answered, 'Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.'
They said to him, 'Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?'
He said to them, 'Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.' The disciples said to him, 'If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.'
But he said to them, 'Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.' " - Matthew 19:2-12 ESV
So, In a few short sentences Jesus strips away the sentimental mask of religion and gets to the heart of the marital relationship. I like the King James version for this verse.
"Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." - Matthew 19:6 KJV
We see the picture of something wrapping layer upon layer to bind it together so that no one cord cut could sever it so that two things become one. When those ties that bind are severed it causes the once bound parties to enter into licence that is not liberty. Manuscripts vary on what verse nine says. Some say that divorce cases the woman to enter into adultery but in the ancient world only a man could initiate a divorce so it would have to be a man who initiated the divorce and the woman would then be put in a difficult situation having to make difficult choices for the sake of survival.
This is God's mind on marriage but for those who have had a marriage, or more than one, torn asunder there can be a contradiction in the heart. Receive God's love. Receive God's healing. Receive God's grace. Don't unwrap what has been wrapped together or cut the cords that hold a relationship and don't be condemned if those cord have been cut in the past. Sin is paid for, all sin, now we are free to be alive and not live as victims or as perpetrators or past mistakes.
"Let the one who is able to receive this receive it." - Matthew 19:12b ESV
Grace gives us ears to hear and changes our orientations and motivation. In this moment we are free. Free to reconcile or free to move one as God leads us. Yes, As God leads us. No preference... leading. But leading that has liberty and is free from condemnation.
God is the binder of wounds and the mender of hearts. Today is a new day. Our faith is placed in Him alone. He is the one who moves us and connects us together.
"Giving thanks unto the Father, which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light: Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son: In whom we have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins:" - Colossians 1:12-14 KJV
He cut us free from a power and ushered us into a kingdom . A kingdom filled with holy relationships that have God between people. He is bound up in the cord of marriage and every other relationship that is close and holy in nature but marriage is a special manifestation on Earth of Christ's relationship to the Church.
"And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken." - Ecclesiastes 4:12 KJV
If one person knows God then God is there in the relationship. If two know Him He is wrapped up in the midst strengthening the bond. Don't cut the cords or encourage others to do it. Let God wrap the love that connects around us. It is not there to hinder us. It is there to hold us and embrace us.