I have been thinking on and off about 'friendship formation'. We have many acquaintances but strong friendship bonds seem to form more rarely.
The Apostle Paul describes himself and others like him as 'helpers of your joy' (see 2 Corinthians 1:24) and the Greek there is very interesting. The word 'helper' (synergos - Strong's G4904) is the word we get synergy from. The phrase 'your joy' is hymōn (Strong's G5216) chara (Strong's G5479). This joy isn't a feeling. It is rejoicing that happens because there is a reason to rejoice. The word could be translated 'the cause or occasion of joy'.
Here is the context. There is conflict in Corinth and Paul is correcting them and looking to God to find a balance out of love...
"For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, whom we proclaimed among you, Silvanus and Timothy and I, was not Yes and No, but in him it is always Yes. For all the promises of God find their Yes in him. That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory. And it is God who establishes us with you in Christ, and has anointed us, and who has also put his seal on us and given us his Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee. But I call God to witness against me - it was to spare you that I refrained from coming again to Corinth. Not that we lord it over your faith, but we work with you for your joy, for you stand firm in your faith. For I made up my mind not to make another painful visit to you. For if I cause you pain, who is there to make me glad but the one whom I have pained? And I wrote as I did, so that when I came I might not suffer pain from those who should have made me rejoice, for I felt sure of all of you, that my joy would be the joy of you all. For I wrote to you out of much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to cause you pain but to let you know the abundant love that I have for you." - 2 Corinthians 1:19 - 2:4 ESV
I am convinced that humor is intrinsically linked to pain and likewise friendship happens in shared conflict. People who survive something together have great friendship potential.
Grace Gospel preachers produce a 'field of friendship' around them because love is presented in the midst of the conflict that holiness produces in a fallen world.
People 'survived' encounters with Paul and His otherworldly message and became friends through that shared experience. They weren't necessarily friends with him. They became friends with God and each other.
Wartime produces the strongest bonds. That is why it is easier to make friends as children. Children are in the conflict of identity formation.
People want to avoid pain but the grapes need to be crushed in order for there to be wine. Likewise, love works in synergy with conflict to form friendships.
Grace is beautiful. It is God's unmerited favor expressed to mankind because of the work of Jesus Christ. A person who talks about it is going to stir things up but in the center of that storm there is an oasis that is 'an occasion of joy'. The lost are found and bonds are formed that can never be broken.
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