Hesitation

"We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians; our heart is wide open." - 2 Corinthians 6:11 ESV

"...how I did not shrink from declaring to you anything that was profitable, and teaching you in public and from house to house, testifying both to Jews and to Greeks of repentance toward God and of faith in our Lord Jesus Christ." - Acts 20:20-21 ESV

Last night I heard a very instructive program talking about hesitation in speech. It always amazes me that there are people who seem to specialize in the study of these very specific things. The program focused on 'uh' and 'umm' and played all these clips of famous people speaking many different languages and how universal the use of 'uh' was.

It seems that 'uh' is a hesitation of interruption where 'umm' is usually followed by a deeper or more explanatory statement.

One of the things that is different about writing versus speaking are the pauses. Writing can seem so direct and deliberate. You don't hear the edits or the pauses in the process quite like you do when some one is speaking. Pauses are accomplished with commas, periods and other punctuation unless the 'um' is added as some kind of dialog.

Our love is often expressed with many pauses isn't it? We want to impart what our heart feels. We want to say what our mind thinks and knows but at the same time we hesitate for many different reasons.

God's heart is wide open to us. Communication flows more easily when two people have open hearts. But, Often one must do it first so that the other person can follow suit.

Like a door with many locks it can take a minute to even open the passage to someone who is welcome because all those locks need to be deactivated first.

The cross is the representation of God's open heart. The Gospel is Him opening His mouth. When we hear it and receive it we begin to unlock our souls. It can be like a flower opening to respond to the light.

Sometimes hesitation is a form of rejection but sometimes it is just a sign that someone needs time to unlatch the complex system in place that they use as protection. We tell God's love to people 'house' to 'house' but I never want to be discouraged by a seeming lack of response. An 'uh' doesn't always mean 'no'. The thought may very well have been received but the response is just delayed.

I gaze at the cross this morning knowing that it is opening me up. It did something eternal for me that is complete but today it is loosening the flow of my experience.

Walking in the Spirit I am less prone to hesitation because God's open heart has opened my heart.

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