Hesitation

"We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians; our heart is wide open." - 2 Corinthians 6:11 ESV

"...how I did not shrink from declaring to you anything that was profitable, and teaching you in public and from house to house, testifying both to Jews and to Greeks of repentance toward God and of faith in our Lord Jesus Christ." - Acts 20:20-21 ESV

Last night I heard a very instructive program talking about hesitation in speech. It always amazes me that there are people who seem to specialize in the study of these very specific things. The program focused on 'uh' and 'umm' and played all these clips of famous people speaking many different languages and how universal the use of 'uh' was.

It seems that 'uh' is a hesitation of interruption where 'umm' is usually followed by a deeper or more explanatory statement.

One of the things that is different about writing versus speaking are the pauses. Writing can seem so direct and deliberate. You don't hear the edits or the pauses in the process quite like you do when some one is speaking. Pauses are accomplished with commas, periods and other punctuation unless the 'um' is added as some kind of dialog.

Our love is often expressed with many pauses isn't it? We want to impart what our heart feels. We want to say what our mind thinks and knows but at the same time we hesitate for many different reasons.

God's heart is wide open to us. Communication flows more easily when two people have open hearts. But, Often one must do it first so that the other person can follow suit.

Like a door with many locks it can take a minute to even open the passage to someone who is welcome because all those locks need to be deactivated first.

The cross is the representation of God's open heart. The Gospel is Him opening His mouth. When we hear it and receive it we begin to unlock our souls. It can be like a flower opening to respond to the light.

Sometimes hesitation is a form of rejection but sometimes it is just a sign that someone needs time to unlatch the complex system in place that they use as protection. We tell God's love to people 'house' to 'house' but I never want to be discouraged by a seeming lack of response. An 'uh' doesn't always mean 'no'. The thought may very well have been received but the response is just delayed.

I gaze at the cross this morning knowing that it is opening me up. It did something eternal for me that is complete but today it is loosening the flow of my experience.

Walking in the Spirit I am less prone to hesitation because God's open heart has opened my heart.

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Flinching

I was thinking this morning about flinching. An unconscious reaction to present circumstances that remind us on some level of past instances of hurt.

Young boys are teased by their peers if they flinch. It is a natural sign of weakness. It reveals a tendency to retreat instead of attack back in like kind or keep cool. Such weakness disqualifies respect.

Here is a great passage.

"Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered and said to the king, 'O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.' " - Daniel 3:16-18 ESV

The three Hebrew boys knew that fire was a hazardous thing. But they had a unnatural confession when faced with the prospect of being thrown in the fire. God had saved them on the inside so it didn't matter to them if He saved them on the outside.

God's grace was larger than the situation to these three boys. They faced the possibility of injury but confessed God's ability. Grace puts God and people under no obligation but it magnifies God's ability and His goodness.

When we face similar situations and circumstance to ones that hurt us in the past we can have this mindset. When grace is made real to us and we embrace our Savior's goodness we are saved on the inside and we are not the same. Grace gives us a capacity to be delivered or to endure injury but either way facing the situation with a great big God changes our subconscious associations. Pain no longer has power over us.

Instead of saying, 'Wow, I'll never do that again.' we can say, 'I'll do what is needed when it is needed because God is with me and will be with me.'

Receiving grace shuts the mouth of the bully and takes away his ammunition in that area also... a pleasant side benefit. {smile}

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