"Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth." - 2 Timothy 2:15 ESV
If you study you will find that God approves of you. He doesn't approve of people because they study. He approves because of Jesus. Jesus IS approved and God only sees us as hidden in Christ.
Teachers who teach God disapproves of those who walk by faith in His Son will be ashamed because they didn't rightly handle the truth.
You are approved! Your past can't change that. Your present can't. Your future can't. Study and find out what grace means. Study and prove it to yourself then teach it to others.
"...Jesus said to the ruler of the synagogue, 'Do not fear, only believe.' " - Mark 5:36b ESV
"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:38-39 ESV
Your senses are NOT going to tell you this. It must come from the Bible. It must be experienced by being with people who have studied this out also. Forgiveness is learned. This approval is based on God's justice already being satisfied by Jesus Christ.
Shun the teacher that says you don't measure up and won't unless you do a list of things. They will be ashamed.
Believe and receive. Get a PhD in that and you will have peace in crazy times. You will know how to bounce back when others don't. You will be a 'workman' that does not work for God's approval but reveals that God has already done all the work.