I'm reading and rereading Psalm 102 today and it is so good. I'm writting this on my lunch break. The 'preface' to this psalm is very short but also very important.
"A Prayer of one afflicted, when he is faint and pours out his complaint before the LORD...." - Psalm 102:1a ESV
We must see and absorb this perspective. This is a vunerable person talking to God in a very emotionally charged way. The inspiration of this psalm is that it truly shows this man's humanity. He isn't right. He is arguing with God and says things about God that are colored by hurt, helplessness and distance.
"A Prayer of one afflicted, when he is faint and pours out his complaint before the LORD. Hear my prayer, O LORD; let my cry come to you!" - Psalm 102:1 ESV
He talks like a man who isn't sure God hears him. He uses God's intimate name that orthodox Jews of today never use or even write down on paper. He uses this intimate name in a plea that shows that he is unsure that God is caring or even noticing him.
"Do not hide your face from me in the day of my distress! Incline your ear to me; answer me speedily in the day when I call! For my days pass away like smoke, and my bones burn like a furnace. My heart is struck down like grass and has withered; I forget to eat my bread. Because of my loud groaning my bones cling to my flesh. I am like a desert owl of the wilderness, like an owl of the waste places; I lie awake; I am like a lonely sparrow on the housetop. All the day my enemies taunt me; those who deride me use my name for a curse. For I eat ashes like bread and mingle tears with my drink, because of your indignation and anger; for you have taken me up and thrown me down. My days are like an evening shadow; I wither away like grass." - Psalm 102:2-11 ESV
Wow.
'...you have taken me up and thrown me down...'
Ever feel like that? It isn't true. God has never done that but at times it feels like he has.
After verse 11 there is a major shift...
"But you, O LORD, are enthroned forever; you are remembered throughout all generations. You will arise and have pity on Zion; it is the time to favor her; the appointed time has come. For your servants hold her stones dear and have pity on her dust. Nations will fear the name of the LORD, and all the kings of the earth will fear your glory. For the LORD builds up Zion; he appears in his glory; he regards the prayer of the destitute and does not despise their prayer. Let this be recorded for a generation to come, so that a people yet to be created may praise the LORD: that he looked down from his holy height; from heaven the LORD looked at the earth, to hear the groans of the prisoners, to set free those who were doomed to die, that they may declare in Zion the name of the LORD, and in Jerusalem his praise, when peoples gather together, and kingdoms, to worship the LORD." - Psalm 102:12-22 ESV
A moment of clarity! A person who knows God's intimate name gets to see this. We see him seeing this and it is like we are seeing it. This Is the alpha and omega. He has Been and will Be into forever but we are human and hurting. Knowing this is a bridge into forever but we are 'afflicted'.
"He has broken my strength in midcourse; he has shortened my days." - Psalm 102:23 ESV
For a second there we see the inside of a person speaking to himself. He gives this great discourse talking to God about who He Is but then he takes a sentence to talk to himself and say.
'He has weakened me.'
God slowed him down and allowed circumstances to bring the psalmist to this place.
" 'O my God,' I say, 'take me not away in the midst of my days - you whose years endure throughout all generations!' Of old you laid the foundation of the earth, and the heavens are the work of your hands. They will perish, but you will remain; they will all wear out like a garment. You will change them like a robe, and they will pass away, but you are the same, and your years have no end. The children of your servants shall dwell secure; their offspring shall be established before you." - Psalm 102:24-28 ESV
I read this psalm and feel like I have God's permission to be a bit messed up sometimes. Feeling distant doesn't mean God has cut you or I off. He understands this. Jesus sweat blood the night before His cruxifiction. He needed all His strength to carry that cross the next day but some of it was taken the night before.
You and I think we need to be strong to face things but that isn't what we need at all sometimes. God knows what we need. We need to see Him and get a glimpse of His foreverness. He Is always seeing us but we forget what He looks like often because of our limits and make up.
Today I'm reading this psalm and 'pouring out my complaint' to Him. I am also in awe of His glory. The 'conversation' will become a paragraph in the biography that is my life. God is the main character not me.
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