I sit here very broken and humbled from just a short paragraph from the booklet I am reading this morning. I read this yesterday but it just didn't sink in. Now I sit here repenting and asking God to not let me forget what I read... to live what I just read.
"Every morning I say to God, 'I am going to have the best day of my life. I am broken before You because I love You. You are so amazing to me!' "
Listen. I am not a naive person and this isn't my first time around the block. People sometimes say things like this because it is how they want to live but don't... or they say them because it is how they think they should live but only sometimes do. People also just plain lie to themselves and others or put on a front to project an image. But, The man who wrote this booklet is a man that I see as a great man. He is a man who had an impact... a man who clearly walked with God and there is fruit that remains in the world clearly linked to his life... he is a man who pastored me. He was many things but he was not a liar. No one is right about everything all the time but his heart was not one of deception.
Really you say this everyday?!?
I honestly bowed my head before God and tried to 'look in God's direction', which is a concept that maybe someone who prays often will understand because that direction is metaphysical in nature, and I said to him, 'Can I honestly say this to You? Forget saying it everyday... Can I say to You that I believe that I will have the best day of my life today? Can I say it just today? If I say 'No' where am I living. Have I forgotten grace? Have I forgotten Heaven? Do I know who I am talking to? You are the Alpha and Omega. I want to say 'Yes'. I need to say 'Yes'.
This is not some person I am trying to impress. This is God I am talking to. He has known and loved me all my life. He sees me when I'm not looking at Him. He sees through my masks.
My day is filled with half a dozen mundane things that will gobble up most of my time. It is fill with things that must be done and no monumental events. Can this be the best day of my life?
Tears start to flow from my eyes. Maybe this is part of why the man who wrote the booklet was a great man. He must have sat here often looking into the place I look... looking at a throne with a Messiah sitting on it and being challenged by the holiness there to be honest.
I decided to whisper it.
'You are here God. I am in You and You are in me. Today is going to be the best day of my life.'
Now my tears are like a river and I can barely see because I know that whisper was not me just lying to myself. God helped me say it. The whirlwind of God's life touched the still pool of mine and a water spout of intermingling was formed.
I am not a great man but maybe this is what great men do.
"I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me." - Philippians 4:12-13 ESV